Being a student nurse I have gotten to experience many
things: Life, Death, Pain, Suffering, Welcomes, Goodbyes, Traumas, the Routine,
the Unexpected, Vomit, Shit, Blood, other Substances you aren’t supposed to
talk about, and the list could go on. Everyone asks “Oh! How is nursing
school?” and expects me to have these surefire descriptions of the most
stressful, painful, and exhausting time of my life, but are disinterested when
I say “It’s good. I really like it.” You see, to the non-nursing side of the world,
which a majority of people I talk to are not part of, they have their minds
already made up of what nurses are and do. They think nursing school is a very
valiant feat, and many claim they could never do it (which, to be honest…they
couldn’t), but immediately start to glaze over when I explain the TAVR
procedure patient I got to help with recovery and start to gag when I talk
about having my entire hand in some guy’s abdomen packing his stomach wound. They
don’t get it and, frankly, don’t care to.
To my benefit, I work in the Emergency Room, so I get to see
and experience the stories of crazy, blood and guts, and pure madness that
people love to hear about (and, grotesquely, I love to talk about). This is
where people love to listen to my stories. They love to hear about the person
that swallowed a razor blade, a toothbrush and a screw and nail, the person
that got into a drunken bar fight and came in hitting and screaming, and the
motor vehicle crash that brought in multiple trauma victims. However, most
people do not want all the details of the story, they just want the beginning
and the end. They don’t want to hear about the exhaustive attempts it took to
run a code, the sweat rolling down your nose as you are doing your next round
of compressions, the nurse who is caring for this patient trying to stay
focused and not take the blame for this person’s dramatic turn for the worst,
or the crying family members that don’t understand what is happening or
completely why we are withholding compressions as the alarms are beeping and
their loved one turns a deeper shade of bluish gray.
Though it is an extremely rewarding field of work, it is
very trying on your mental health and personal power of will. Both as a student
nurse and an Emergency Department employee, I’ve worked for countless hours
without a break, a lunch, a trip to the bathroom, or even a thank you. I’ve
held pressure on a bleeding wound while reaching for a pair of gloves because I
tried to help the patient first and the family yelled at me for their loved
one’s bleeding, as if, in any sense, it was my fault. I’ve walked into a
patient’s room who is calling out for help, only to realize they soiled their
bed and told me “Well if you would have came quicker!” Though nursing is an
extremely rewarding field of work, and I am beyond ready to start practicing as
a real nurse, human beings are weird, ungrateful, and expect way too much. I
understand they are in a strange place, are in pain, and are suffering, but
human kindness should never be lacking in any sense.
As a student nurse, I am paying for the clinical experience
and time on the floor, working as a real nurse, without any form of
compensation. I work the same hours as many of the nurses I am “shadowing” or
“helping” during the day, but then have to come home and work on projects,
homework, and preparation for the next day, all while trying to live my own
life and keep myself sane. Nursing school is some of the most stressful times I
have had in my life, but it is also some of the best. I have made great friends
and still been able to keep track of the old, I have traveled, drank great
beers, crossed things off of my bucket list, and many other things I would
consider to be accomplishments. Though it is a hard and trying time, I wouldn’t
change it for anything. I know that I will soon be a real nurse, in 101 days,
actually (well, I’ll graduate then, NCLEX to follow!), and then I will be able
to start the next part of my life and do the things I want. It has been a long
road coming for me to achieve those initials after my name, but once I get
there they will be there to stay. Though many of you will not understand the
things I have seen or the things I have done, or will see and will do,
hopefully you can understand human dignity, compassion, and respect. I may only
be a student nurse now, but, in due time, I’m sure I will be the one that you
ask for medical advice, ask for help, or may even have to rely on to take care
of you down the road. So be kind, be appreciative, and be in awe of the human spirt
and nature. It really is a wonderful thing.
Until
then,
