It's starting to get REAL.

Oh boy. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of a time. I am in my very last class at Saint Louis University ever. Sadly, it is History 112: 1500-present and it is about as interesting as any other history class I have ever taken. Luckily, my teacher is hysterical, witty, and has an awesome red beard that makes me want to stay awake and pay attention. And he does a good job of making it interesting. Not to mention, once I reach the 93 points it takes to get an A...I WILL BE DONE! I'm hoping to be done by Tuesday of next week.

Anyways...things are starting to set in and get really REAL. Yesterday, my parents and my oldest sister Claire came down to St. Louis with my dad's truck and a trailer to load up all of my stuff from my apartment.

Wait, what?!?! 

Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I am officially moved out of my apartment (except for a few things to get me by) and then the utmost fun of finishing cleaning and packing stuff into my car before I head for home. 

Wait, home?!?!

Yes, again. Unfortunately (no offense Stonington and surrounding areas), I will be moving out of St. Louis to move back home to live out at my Grandpa Leroy's (I'm pretty sure my mom and I would stab each other if we lived together again. No offense. She agrees though). So, this time next week I will have made my last trip to St. Louis as a SLU student and St. Louis resident and will now have to refer to my actual home as my home, not "Oh, but I live in St. Louis." This is probably what is most bittersweet. Over the past 4 years, St. Louis has become my oasis and my home. The constant ability to do ANYTHING at any given time. The convenience of 24-hour stores, coffee shops that have real coffee, places to eat that aren't chains and have that unique twist you are wanting, not to mention the countless people that always keep any given day interesting. My friends from school will be nowhere close to me. Most are off to Grad School, volunteering, working their real jobs, or doing adventurous, cool things, while I will be working the same job I've had for the past year as a Tech at St. John's Hospital in Springfield, IL, living out in the country (with hopefully a new dog!!!! Shh...don't tell my mom!), and working to perfect the ability to cook for one person.

With my "gap year", I'm hoping to finally do the crafts and projects I have said I would do for years. I hope to cross off a multitude of items from my Bucket Lists (yes, lists). I'm hoping to prove the point that I could never move back home and happily live there. I'm hoping to learn to love and appreciate the quiteness of living alone in the country and being in what will always be "home". And I'm hoping to find the perfect Accelerated Nursing program to carry on what I know my future is intended for. 

And obviously get in great shape!

So as I take on this hiatus in my future by saving money, figuring out who and where I want to be, and getting my life back into shape (literally and physically), I hope you all are supportive and accepting of what is to come. I know it isn't what anyone expected and everyone has that urge to apologize for my situation (if you don't know it..I'll explain it in a future post once I have confirmation that I'm successfully a son of Saint Louis University), but I know it happened for a reason and that this year will lead to many great things and open many doors. 

So see y'all on the flip side! Who knows...maybe literally one day!

Until Then,

W

Hashtag grown?

As of lately, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and coming up to what I would call empty handed. My life is currently in quite a large rut and I don't know where it is headed. This worries me quite a bit, especially since I'm almost finished with my college career and have to face the real world in a few months. With a "dismissal" looming above my head and a degree I call less than fabulous, it is hard to say where I'm headed. Everyone tells me "Don't worry, it will all work out." or "You will be fine! Everything happens for a reason." Well yes, it does, but that isn't exactly helping my situation. And, apparently you cannot live your life by traveling to small town volleyball tournaments and winning the $40-50 1st place prize for the rest of your life. (Who decided this, AM I RITE?!) Don't get me wrong. I have great parents who will support me and help me deal with all this craziness. I have great family and friends that can offer me moral support and help me get through mentally, even on the bad days. And I have a great sense of power and will (not to mention sarcasm and optimism) that should help me to power through.

If none of this works out, I will start posting my Twerk Team videos on YouTube until I get picked up as a famous dancer. I'm still waiting on Survivor to decide that they want me for the next season (Come on Jeff Probst! Let's just be friends already!). Otherwise I really will go abroad to work and live for a few years of my life until I can decide what I want to do or a Nursing school accepts me. However, my parents think I should stay here and finish school before I go out and about and decide to never come back. After having worked for over a year in the hospital as a Nurse Tech at St. John's in Springfield, IL, I know that I am meant to be a nurse and that I'm pretty damn good at it. Heck, even today I helped clean and dress a girl's cut leg out of a makeshift First Aid Kit (great job SLU) and explained to her why it was still bleeding and what she needed to do for it. It is the things like this that truly make me hate (yes, hate) my situation. Everyone else is in or getting in to the jobs and the field they want, but here I am twiddling my thumbs welcoming people to campus ministry and living off of stale coffee and animal crackers. A certain somebody who talked to me on the phone yesterdays said that they are taking the next 6 months to work and dedicate their time to their thesis for their Master's Degree and working on themselves. They told me that I should start doing the same. Better said than done, but I'm going to try.

You only live once, so make it nasty and make it happen.

Until then,

Wilson

Where has all the time gone?

Oh my lovely people of society, I have officially finished my last final of my last semester of my last year of college (minus the 3 summer course I have to take...but shh! It isn't time for that talk). I have officially finished 4 successful years at Saint Louis University where I will graduate with a Bachelors of Art in Communications: Journalism and Media Relations. Yes, I know....such great achievements to be proud of and all of that noise. Please, hold the applause.

As I walked out of my last test with one of my my all time favorite teacher ever (Dr. Dan Kozlowski, aka Dr. Koz, aka Dokta Koz), I felt that little bit of nostalgia. The test went great and I think I did really well and my hand cramped up and it was so much writing and blah blah blah...it is over. But, I started thinking about my last 4 years of life and what I have done with them. I switched majors twice (one by force), I lost some amazing people, I gained countless acquaintances and made some noteworthy friends, I visited 4 countries (Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, and Ghana), and I truly figured out myself and who I am...at least I think.

I have grown and matured and also made many mistakes. I have changed so much about myself from who and where I was in high school, but I am very satisfied with where I have ended up. I have grown and kept an amazing beard, acquired an ungodly amount of T-shirts, Humphs cups, coasters, and stolen belongings, have kissed too many a few girls (sorry Mom), and have a horrible problem with trying to out drink someone else on a typical night out. Hey, things happen! But, I have also become a person that others aspire to be and look up to. I don't want to brag and say that people have told me that I'm an amazing person that will do great things, but I've heard it a time or two...or a lot. But still, I still have problems with fully accepting that. I still think I'm normal and that I'm not outgoing or personable or unique in ways. I struggle internally with a lot of situations and am known to start excessively sweating in my armpits to combat that, but I somehow still manage to have friends.

Growing up and experiencing college I have had a lot of ridicule, judgment, and extreme dislike for who I am and who I choose to be. But, that has not stopped me from being who I am. I'm not saying I brushed my shoulders off to all the haters, but I did. Coming to and experiencing college has opened up my eyes and expanded my worldview in ways that I cannot even describe. Before coming to college I had never met a real black person and had never met or known a real homosexual person, besides the ones from high school that dated older men and were extremely creepy. College has allowed me to experience and befriend people that fit both of these categories that have become amazing friends and allowed me to be more understanding and perceptive to the things I say and do. College has been the best experience of my life, no matter how much I hated it at times or did not specifically like SLU for various reasons. The city of St. Louis and this bout of independence I  have experienced and gained has changed me for the better and I will forever be thankful to my parents for allowing me to do and take this opportunity.

Thank you Saint Louis University for making my life, ruining my life, creating my future, changing my future. I will forever be a son of Saint Louis University and I will forever be a Billiken. I have no idea where my life is going and have no plans of making plans or settling down. Keep your eye on this blog and me because I have no idea what  I will be doing or where I will be going. Congratulations to all of my fellow seniors who are graduating, to all of my friends who have jobs and internships and volunteer opportunities, and to everyone else, happy summer! Don't judge me tonight when I'm hammered, dancing, singing, twerking, or stealing things. All the best...and

Until Then,

Wilson