Hashtag grown?

As of lately, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and coming up to what I would call empty handed. My life is currently in quite a large rut and I don't know where it is headed. This worries me quite a bit, especially since I'm almost finished with my college career and have to face the real world in a few months. With a "dismissal" looming above my head and a degree I call less than fabulous, it is hard to say where I'm headed. Everyone tells me "Don't worry, it will all work out." or "You will be fine! Everything happens for a reason." Well yes, it does, but that isn't exactly helping my situation. And, apparently you cannot live your life by traveling to small town volleyball tournaments and winning the $40-50 1st place prize for the rest of your life. (Who decided this, AM I RITE?!) Don't get me wrong. I have great parents who will support me and help me deal with all this craziness. I have great family and friends that can offer me moral support and help me get through mentally, even on the bad days. And I have a great sense of power and will (not to mention sarcasm and optimism) that should help me to power through.

If none of this works out, I will start posting my Twerk Team videos on YouTube until I get picked up as a famous dancer. I'm still waiting on Survivor to decide that they want me for the next season (Come on Jeff Probst! Let's just be friends already!). Otherwise I really will go abroad to work and live for a few years of my life until I can decide what I want to do or a Nursing school accepts me. However, my parents think I should stay here and finish school before I go out and about and decide to never come back. After having worked for over a year in the hospital as a Nurse Tech at St. John's in Springfield, IL, I know that I am meant to be a nurse and that I'm pretty damn good at it. Heck, even today I helped clean and dress a girl's cut leg out of a makeshift First Aid Kit (great job SLU) and explained to her why it was still bleeding and what she needed to do for it. It is the things like this that truly make me hate (yes, hate) my situation. Everyone else is in or getting in to the jobs and the field they want, but here I am twiddling my thumbs welcoming people to campus ministry and living off of stale coffee and animal crackers. A certain somebody who talked to me on the phone yesterdays said that they are taking the next 6 months to work and dedicate their time to their thesis for their Master's Degree and working on themselves. They told me that I should start doing the same. Better said than done, but I'm going to try.

You only live once, so make it nasty and make it happen.

Until then,

Wilson